Limitations, Part I

Limitations are a tough thing for me to accept.  The childhood motto "I can do and be anything I put my mind to" stuck with me. I really like it.  Now that I'm an adult, I can see how cartoon it sounds to say "I have absolutely no limitations."  So silly.  Of course I do.  If it was some one else saying it I would think they sounded pompous and arrogant... but since its that voice in my head telling me how I ought to be, it sounds just right.  Skyler (in many ways my opposite) embraces his limits, in a super healthy and mind-boggling kind of way. Our conversations typically go something like this:

Bri (close to tears and/or hyperventilating): "Can you come home early from work?  I'm really behind and I don't think I'll finish in time."

Sky (calm, cool, collected...very comforting to stressed-out Bri): "I'll come home as soon as I can.  After you finish I think we should sit down and look at what we need to cut out."

Bri (now panicked): "What we need to cut out? Why?" *Aside: When I don't like what I've just heard, I repeat it.  It's almost like if I say it again, maybe it will come out differently, in a way more to my liking.  This hasn't worked yet, but I will let you know when it tips in my favor.

Sky (still calm, cool, collected): "Because we have too much on our plate if you don't have time to finish things. I don't want you feeling this way, and when we get this busy I don't get to see you. I hate that."

Bri (on the inside screaming 'Nooooooooooooooo I have to do it all! It's all UBBER important and people might think I don't care about them, or I might miss out on something that will make life really great if I don't do it all...No Sky. No!'): "I guess your right."

And then we proceed to painstakingly decide what we aren't going to cram into our schedule.  What projects will go undone, or people unseen, or goals unaccomplished.  And at first I feel sad and empty, and a little/lot shameful, depending on what it was that we cancelled.  But later, as I am soaking up time with Aurora and Skyler while we spend a beautiful day at the beach, I think that there might be something to this limitation thing.  That every time I say "yes" to something I am saying "no" to something else... and when I think I am saying "yes" to everything, I'm actually saying "no" to peaceful days and a non-stressed version of myself.  One that has time for spontaneous trips to the beach on a gorgeous day.  And to be honest I can't even think of a specific example right now of something that we have cut out to gain that freedom.  Huh.