Transitioning

Sometimes my life can feel a bit like catching a plane--hurry up and wait.  Busy busy busy, bored.  And I can get so caught up in this process that I forget that I am in fact, at the end of the hurrying up and waiting, going to be somewhere else.  But the thing with planes is that you typically get back on another plane and head back home.  Life transitions are a one-way ticket to something new, and often you don't get to pick where you are headed, life just kinda takes you there.  There is always choice involved, which mostly (for me, at least) looks like the "you get to choose how you handle it" kind...not nearly as fun as the "pick whatever you want" kind.  I am currently waiting on a few things in life, such as the end of graduate school so I can begin my career and watching my little girl become a toddler, soon a lady.  Yesterday I became keenly aware of being hurried in a direction that I don't particularly like, aka that I am dreading with all of who I am.  Mawi is leaving.

She will too-soon be driving all the way out to North Carolina, her home for the next two years.  Bright side: She's staying in the country.  Down side: ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE COUNTRY.  Ugh.  She was kind enough to laugh with me yesterday when I confessed that I secretly wished it would all fall through for her so I can selfishly have her here with me.  Luckily, its not about what I want.  She is going to go off and learn how to be an amazing social worker and I need to figure out how to handle it well.  It's a funny thing when you care about some one a whole whole bunch--even when you are trying your darndest to support them, they are still supporting you right back.  I've been trying not to melt into a fit of tears every time I see her, or to say stupid things like "I think I am going to join several different groups once your gone so I don't loose myself completely" but you know, you can't win them all, and sometimes I slip.  Like a blog post.  Ooops.

Some transitions we don't even notice.  Birthdays come and go and people ask "do you feel any different?" Of course I don't, its just the day after yesterday and the one before tomorrow.  Same same.  But all of a sudden you look up and you are somewhere different.  I wasn't expecting it to smack me upside the head in such a manner, this transition out of young adulthood, but it certainly has quite the kick to it.  Lots more gains and losses than I expected.  My life is not by any means complete now, but its not an unwritten story either--I have several chapters that I can go back and read.  Looking at my relationships with my family, who all live far away, I recognize that our relationships are growing and wonderful despite the distance.  I love them more than anything, and missing them hasn't killed me, its truly made me appreciate them more (I'm sure not being in high school has something to do with it too, but we'll sidebar that for now ;).  So as my dear friend Mawi, who is like family to me, embarks on this new adventure, I know that we will grow even closer as she becomes more of who she was created to be...even though that takes her far away.  And I am rest assured that we are good enough friends that she won't be freaked out when I stalk her on facebook and insist on awkward skype dates with her new friends so that I feel included.

Mawi, I'm going to miss you, and I am so excited to see where this plane will take you.  Please read this on the days that I don't call, because I hate the phone, and know that I love you and am thinking of you... maybe even stalking you at that exact moment.