As a follow up to my last post, I thought it would be good to highlight the downside of over-committing, or in other words to simply tell you a little bit about myself lately.
I can always tell when I am in over my head when it becomes harder to fall asleep, because my mind is piecing together all of the things that I didn't have time to put together during the day. I become very impatient, even more so than I usually am. Impatient with Skyler, with other drivers, with that darn clock on my wall that won't tick faster. The small things seem HUGE, i.e. the difference of fifteen minutes makes me feel like I'm going to have a heart attack. Everything is planned back-to-back and on top of each other, and there is no room for life to happen. The worst side effect is how mean I get. For a lot of you I know your thinking "What? Bri mean? No way!" but that is because I save you from my meanness. There are a few unfortunate souls who can attest to my coldness and biting comments when I am stretched too thin.
I would like to take a second to note how nice it is of me that I save most of you from myself--a glimpse of humanity amidst my hulk-like state. Maybe I'll find out how my story ends when I see the Avengers this week (Of course I shouldn't have said yes to this, when I am throwing a bridal shower this weekend and have a huge paper due next Monday, but I did). To clarify, I don't actually ruin cities or people's lives or anything--I just run around at the end of my severed rope, ready to glare and complain about anyone who gets in the way of my desperate need to get things done, because I have way too much to do. On second thought, maybe I will cause significant damage to my relationships if I keep this up. Scary. It's feels like a sickness, and I really am working to discover the cure--I'm just having to fight myself along the way, which creates significant setbacks.
How did I find time to write this post, you might ask? Because the final symptom is that I fluctuate between a wild sprint and complete avoidance. It's similar to maxing out your car--despite your best efforts to floor it you have hit the limit--shut down.
Alright Skyler, I'm ready for the oh-so-sucky process of cutting things out... and it doesn't seem quite as painful as it usually does. Which means...progress. Just a little bit, but I'll take it. I have a feeling this cure will be a long, small-steps-to-transformation kind of pill.
